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Nine Months – Community
By Kudara
Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and all who sail in her belong to
Paramount/Viacom and no infringement of copyright/trade marks is
intended.
Rating: Adult
Feedback: Always welcome, feedback is what encourages me to keep
writing. Please let me know what you like and what you dislike
about the story.
Notes: If I missed an actual Church of Conscious Design, I
apologize; I’m specifically trying to stay away from naming any
existing religious organization, as this is merely a back story
for one of the secondary characters.
Definition: (Because I was chided for using a word that many
wouldn’t be familiar with.) Deism – The belief that the order
and architecture of the universe as indications of a conscious
designer. Deism as a philosophy makes no positive assertions
about the nature of that designer. It rather leaves it up to the
individual to speculate based upon empirical observations of the
universe and personal reason. Revision History: 12/13/05;
minor revision 01/05/07
Summary: Getting to know the others of Alpha Squad and
themselves better.
****************************************************************
Chapter 19 - Stardate 52563.7 (July 25, 2375 5:05pm)
After she was released from training, B’Elanna walked back to
the quarters she and Seven shared, her mind still mulling over
the information she had learned about exactly what duties a
Communications and Electronics Specialist was expected to
perform as a part of Alpha Squad. It was nothing she couldn’t
have guessed from her training, but it was nice to find out for
certain. In short, she was to find and scan the enemy unit for
what information she could find out about them, while preventing
the enemy from doing the same to Alpha Squad.
B’Elanna entered the quarters and immediately noticed that Seven
was seated on the couch, and of all things, appeared to be
writing upon a pad of paper, like in the old movies Tom had
insisted she watch. The blonde woman looked over at her entry
and smiled, “B’Elanna,” she greeted her warmly.
“What’s that?” asked the half-Klingon curiously.
Seven hesitated for a moment, “An exercise Lee and Maria
suggested to help clarify my thought about being separated from
the Borg.”
“Oh?” B’Elanna remarked, frowning. She wasn’t sure she liked the
idea of the two women trying to play therapist with Seven.
“I am making lists of what I lost when I was severed, and what I
gained. I believe this type of exercise was a common therapeutic
tool used in the twenty-first century.” Seven replied. The blond
was watching her intently, her head slightly tilted to the side.
B’Elanna nodded, “It’s a bit disconcerting to know that we’re
the only ones from this century.”
Seven nodded, “Lee was taken in 2019, Maria in 2003, Nancy in
2008 and Janice in 2014. They woke up in cells where they were
paired, just as we were.”
“They had no prior knowledge of each other?” B’Elanna asked,
trying to imagine what it would have been like to be paired with
a complete stranger.
Seven replied, “Elizabeth and Maria recognized one another, but
had never actually talked with one another. Christina had never
met Nancy, Lee had never meet Amy Lewis, and Janice had never
met Brenda Allen. I have not obtained information as yet, about
the other couples.”
B’Elanna came over and sat down beside Seven. To her surprise
the blonde turned over the pad that she had been writing upon,
preventing her from seeing what had been written upon it.
Concerned she frowned even more deeply, and took in a breath to
try and explain to Seven that no matter how well meaning the two
women were they shouldn’t be doing this.
“Lee and Maria assured me you would respect my privacy in this;
they appear to have been wrong.” Seven said, as she turned back
over the pad of paper and rose. “I will prepare our bath.” There
was a world of hurt in her eyes and voice that stunned the
half-Klingon.
“Seven, wait,” B’Elanna asked as she turned back over the pad.
“I do respect your privacy; I’m just worried that they could
hurt you if they don’t know what they’re doing.” She knew,
though Seven had never said it explicitly, that the blonde had
come to appreciate the relative privacy she had gained in their
captivity. B’Elanna certainly didn’t want to do anything which
would make the blonde think that she didn’t respect her right to
it.
Seven paused and looked back at her, “Though many advances have
been made in the development of pharmaceuticals, the basic
principles of psychoanalysis have not changed appreciably in the
past 350 years.”
B’Elanna was about to reply when she realized that she might be
lacking a vital piece of information. “Are you saying they have
training?”
Seven raised her brow, “Lee Scott has Doctorial Degrees in
Theoretical Physics and Counseling Psychology as well as a
Masters Degree in Divinity. Maria has a Doctorial degree in
Clinical and Counseling Psychology. Janice has a Masters Degree
in Social Work, and had completed all but the residency
requirement of her Doctorate degree in Counseling Psychology.
She has worked with Lee and Maria to complete that requirement,
and though they cannot officially give her the degree, she now
has all the training required for it.”
“Oh,” B’Elanna replied weakly, “Good grief, there are three of
them. You know you have the right to tell them to go away, they
didn’t bully you into this did they?”
Seven looked amused, “No, they did not ‘bully’ me into anything
B’Elanna, and it is time for our bath.”
“Are you implying that I smell?” replied the half-Klingon with
mock indignity, knowing full well that she reeked from all the
sweating she had done during the day, and trying to lighten the
mood further. Orientation had taken about an hour; the rest of
the time had been spent in team runs of the obstacle course. She
was unconcerned about the robot reacting, over the course of
several months it became apparent that more than their tone’s
were being monitored, and the robots were exceptionally accurate
in detecting when they were actually angry.
Seven took in a breath from where she was standing across the
room and raised her brow once again, then turned smartly on her
heel, and headed into the bath room.
B’Elanna ambled after her, “Theoretical Physics, Psychology and
Divinity, interesting mix of degrees.” She commented as she
entered the bath room.
“Her first degree was in Theoretical Physics from Cambridge
University, which was still in existence when Voyager last had
contact with the Federation. The thesis paper she presented is
in Voyager’s database, as are the remainder of her writings. She
obtained her Divinity degree immediately afterward, also from
Cambridge University, and served as a minister for six years
before going to Bangor University, for her Psychology
Doctorate.” Seven responded as she adjusted the water
temperature.
“She’s in Voyager’s database?” replied B’Elanna surprised.
“Yes,” Seven glanced toward her, “She was one of the primary
authors of the religious theory of Free Will. She was also one
of the central figures in the formation of the Church of
Conscious Design in 2015, as well as it’s first President.”
B’Elanna stared at Seven in disbelief, she had certainly heard
of the Church of Conscious Design, it was the precursor of the
only major remaining system of religious philosophy on Earth,
now known simply as Deism. And now B’Elanna realized where she
had seen Elizabeth Scott before. A picture of the woman could
usually be found somewhere in almost every Deist meeting hall.
***************************************************************
Chapter 20 - Stardate 52581.59 (August 1, 2375 06:45am)
B’Elanna breathed deeply through her nose, knowing that
Elizabeth would give her a look and a lecture if she saw her
panting through her mouth.
“And down,” Elizabeth called, the russet haired woman dropped
into a perfect push-up position along with the entire Squad, and
began calling out the next twenty-five, four position push-ups.
B’Elanna cursed the woman silently as she called out with the
rest, “One, two, three, four, one. One, two, three, four, two…”
On the first day she joined Alpha Squad, and found out that
Elizabeth had been a Colonel in the old United States Marine
Corps, she had been very interested in finding out what the
woman’s life had been like. But that had been before she joined
the unit in their daily exercise drill that started at 0600
hours. This was entirely too much first hand experience in how
the former Marine had lived.
B’Elanna ran through the completed exercises, trying to figure
out how much longer she had until she could go back to her
quarters, take a quick bath and sit down with Seven for
breakfast. This new time schedule was hard to adjust to, she had
to wake up and pull herself away from a very cuddly, naked
blonde, get dressed, and then force herself to leave on time
when Seven insisted on getting up and giving her a good morning
kiss. Since the blonde was about to take her own bath, Seven
didn’t see any reason to get dressed before kissing her, thus
B’Elanna’s difficulty in leaving.
This morning, after the events of the previous night, it had
been especially difficult to pull away from Seven and go to
training.
**
They had been sitting on the couch after eating dinner when
B’Elanna finally asked Seven what had been bothering her all
evening. The blonde had been noticeably distracted and worried
about something ever since the half-Klingon had entered their
quarters.
B’Elanna had grown increasingly alarmed as Seven stood up,
actually paced back and forth a few times, and then finally
stopped in front of her and took on her old Borgish stance, feet
slightly apart, stiffly upright and hands behind her back. It
was out of character for her after all this time, and looked
even odder as she was wearing a pale green silk robe.
“Seven?” B’Elanna stood up as well, deeply unsettled by the
blonde’s reversion to the old mannerism, and wondering what in
Gre’thor was going on to upset her so much.
“B’Elanna,” Seven interrupted her, “if we were returned to
Voyager would you return to Lt Paris?” the last words came out
in a rush.
B’Elanna stared at her silently for a moment in surprise, then
she reached out and pulled her into a hug. “No, Seven. I said my
goodbye to Tom the night we first made love. I won’t leave you,
not even if we get released and somehow find our way back.”
Seven’s arms wrapped around her back and the blonde hugged her
back. “You will not?” the slight waver in her voice betrayed her
continuing need for reassurance.
“Seven,” B’Elanna waited until the blonde looked up at her. “I,”
she bent down and gently kissed soft lips, “choose,” this time
she claimed the soft lips more passionately, “you.” This time
when she kissed Seven, she didn’t withdraw, and when the
blonde’s lips parted beneath her own, she claimed what was
offered as well.
When they finally parted she gazed into Seven’s darkened eyes,
“Because I want to.” She didn’t say anything further; she didn’t
dare, as it might be interpreted as a criticism of their
treatment. She could only hope that Seven would understand
everything she meant by those words.
Seven’s eyes widened, and she nodded. “I want this as well,” she
declared. The blonde rested her head against B’Elanna’s
collarbone, and they stood silently in each others’ arms for a
moment. “Lee was correct, I was ‘making a mountain of a
mole-hill’,” she murmured.
“What?” asked B’Elanna, unfamiliar with the term, though she
thought she could guess what it meant.
“I was letting my fear of your answer turn the question into a
bigger obstacle than it actually was,” Seven replied
straightening, and leaned back against the half-Klingon’s arms,
letting their strength support her. “Lee warned me that if I did
not face my fear and ask you, that my doubt would poison the
emotions I feel when I think about you. I did not want that to
occur, even though I do not understand all of them, they are
important to me.”
B’Elanna sucked in a breath, searching Seven’s eyes for any hint
of what feelings the blonde was referring to feeling for her.
She wasn’t sure, but that certainly sounded like Sevenish for ‘I
think I’m falling in love with you.’ Or maybe it was just
wistful thinking.
‘Wistful thinking?’ B’Elanna thought to herself. ‘Do I want
Seven to fall in love with me? Am I falling in love with her?’
She considered the questions for a moment then ruefully she
silently acknowledged, ‘well I was thinking just a week ago that
it would be easy to fall for her.’
Focusing on Seven once again B’Elanna admitted, “I’m feeling
some rather intense emotions when I think about you too, their
rather new to me as well.”
Seven’s blue eyes opened wide, and she stared silently back at
B’Elanna for so long that the half-Klingon became rather nervous
that she had just completely misread the blonde, and admitted
too much too soon. Then suddenly Seven reached up and grabbed
her head and pulled her down into a passionate kiss.
“Make love to me,” the blonde requested when she finally
released B’Elanna.
“Absolutely,” B’Elanna agreed, and lifted Seven into her arms.
She was almost in the bedroom when she noticed that Seven was
looking at her with a curious expression on her face. “What?”
she asked.
“You have performed this action with increasing frequency ever
since your treatments were finished. Does it have some meaning
of which I am unaware?” Seven inquired curiously.
“Ahh,” she hedged, as she laid Seven down gently upon the bed.
She was still trying to figure out how to answer, when she
noticed the gleam in the blonde’s eye and an ever so slight
quirk to her lips.
“Your teasing me,” she exclaimed.
“Yes,” replied Seven. Then more uncertainly, “I did not do it
correctly?”
B’Elanna got upon the bed with Seven. “No, you did it
perfectly,” she admitted. “I’m not sure why actually; I just
like how it makes me feel.” She did like having the strength to
pick Seven up so casually, but that wasn’t the main reason, she
just liked how it felt to hold the blonde like that.
Seven’s expression turned analytical for a moment as she
examined B’Elanna, then the look faded and the blonde stated
calmly, “Acceptable.”
The half-Klingon eyed the blonde uncertainly for a moment,
wondering what had Seven had just decided her actions meant, but
decided to drop the subject, she wasn’t certain she wanted to
know. Besides, there were many other things she wanted to do,
now that they were here. Moving quickly she shed her robe and
moved so that she was completely on top of Seven, supporting her
weight on one knee and both hands, and barely touching the
blonde’s body.
She was not surprised to see Seven’s eyes darken, and her
nostrils flare, as the blonde’s eyes wandered over her body, and
her hands explored the musculature of B’Elanna’s arms as they
supported her weight. “I’m not the only one who likes my new
strength,” the half-Klingon noted with a smile, “or the fact
that I’m now taller than you.”
“No you are not,” Seven readily admitted with a smile of her
own. She met B’Elanna’s brown eyes frankly, “Though I considered
you to be aesthetically pleasing before they were made.”
“So you thought I was sexy before?” B’Elanna asked smirking, her
eyes wandering appreciatively over the form underneath her.
“Yes,” agreed Seven simply, as she tightened her arms around the
half-Klingon.
B’Elanna submitted and rested a little more of her weight on the
blonde, knowing that Seven liked it.
Seven twisted restlessly under her, “B’Elanna I need…” she
trailed off, and the half-Klingon could see the frustration on
her face.
“You need what, Seven?” she asked softly.
“I am unsure,” came the aggravated reply, “I need to know that
you need me, I need to be touched by you, I need you to hold
me…. I need…I need to hear your sub-vocal growl, I need the
feeling that it causes in me.” Seven looked at her desperately,
silently asking if B’Elanna at least understood what she needed,
even if she didn’t.
Seven was breathing rapidly, agitatedly, B’Elanna shifted more
of her weight onto one side and reached up and stroked the
blonde’s face gently calming her. Once Seven was less emotional,
B’Elanna shifted her weight once again. “What do you feel when I
lay on you like this.”
Seven considered the question, “Protected, safe.”
B’Elanna captured Seven’s wrists and pinned them to the bed on
either side of the blonde, “And now.”
“Aroused,” Seven struggled slightly and then stilled,
“helpless…secure.” The blonde frowned slightly.
“You know I wouldn’t hurt you,” B’Elanna assured her.
“Yes,” Seven agreed and her face smoothing out as she
understood, “That is why I feel secure, even though you are
displaying your superior strength.”
B’Elanna lowered her head and began kissing the blonde, the
usual surrendering parting of Seven’s lips was all the trigger
she needed. This time she didn’t bother to try and hide the
growl of possessiveness, instead she pulled back and stared into
Seven’s blue eyes as she made the sound.
Seven’s eyes widened, a tremor ran through her entire frame, and
she arched against B’Elanna’s body and moaned.
Hearing, seeing, smelling Seven’s reaction, the half-Klingon
finally uttered what had been silent in her mind until now,
“Mine.” she growled.
A sharp longing cry broke forth from Seven, “Yes,” she agreed.
***
A loud cough brought her abruptly back to the present, glancing
around in momentary confusion B’Elanna realized with
embarrassment that everyone but she was standing. Her fellow
members of Alpha Squad were staring at her with mingled looks of
curiosity and amusement.
“And here I was thinking that you didn’t really like doing
push-ups.” Elizabeth’s voice drew her attention to the front of
the unit.
B’Elanna groaned silently, as she jumped to her feet. “Sorry,”
she apologized, feeling some relief that at least they didn’t
know what she had been thinking about.
Elizabeth chuckled softly, and meeting her grey eyes B’Elanna
realized from the knowing smirk on the other woman’s face that
perhaps she shouldn’t make that assumption.
**************************************************************
Chapter 21 - Stardate 52598.36 (August 7, 2375 09:43am)
B’Elanna sat with Elizabeth, Christina, and Amy Lewis, Lee’s
partner, half-listening to the conversation between them. Amy
was the de facto leader of the weapons specialists, not because
of her prior occupation, but because she showed an uncanny grasp
of tactics and a sure sense of where to place her people and
equipment to maximize their effectiveness. Prior to her capture
she had been the president of a small company providing managed
computer information security services to the United States
government.
The majority of B’Elanna’s attention was on Seven, who with
several other women were huddled around the newest addition.
B’Elanna didn’t know either of the baby’s mothers well. Lisa
Stewart had been a member of the Canadian Royal Mounted Police,
and was now the squads’ best rifle sniper, Karen Collins had
been an Emergency Medical Technician. The newborn, Heather, was
Karen’s second child, the oldest child Evelyn, was three, and
currently sitting between her two mothers.
Karen looked up and spotted Seven examining her child curiously.
“Do you know much about children, Seven?” she asked.
Seven was startled at being addressed. “No I do not,” she
answered finally.
“Well if you would like, you can help with Heather, that way
your own won’t be so much of a surprise.” Karen offered.
“My own?” repeated Seven blankly.
B’Elanna froze for a second at the implications of the woman’s
words. Then she glanced around in realization, children, every
couple had children, why hadn’t it occurred to her that she and
Seven would eventually as well. Hurriedly she rose, Seven was
looking around as well, and from the wide eyed panicky look the
blonde was getting, B’Elanna knew that Seven had reached the
same conclusion.
“I’m sorry I thought you realized,” Karen said uncertainly.
Seven’s eyes met B’Elanna’s as she crossed the intervening
distance between them. “I didn’t realize either,” she answered
the unspoken question in Seven’s blue eyes, as she placed
reassuring hands on the blonde’s shoulders. She glanced once
again toward the children playing in one corner of the room then
back again to Seven, “But I guess we should have.”
“Seven,” Lee had come over in the confusion, her face troubled.
“I’m sorry, it didn’t occur to me that you didn’t know. I guess
because we’re all so used to it by now.” She waited until Seven
acknowledged her words with a nod. “You won’t be alone in this
you know, you have B’Elanna, and you have all of us to help
you,” she smiled reassuringly. “And if I may say so, we do have
quite a bit of combined experience,” she glanced over at her own
two children and smiled fondly.
Seven glanced at Lee, over Karen and her newborn, then back to
B’Elanna for a long moment.
B’Elanna pushed down her own trepidation and met Seven’s eyes
unflinchingly. Her own doubts were less important than letting
Seven know that they would deal with this together.
Seven took in a deep breath, “We will adapt,” it was more of a
question than statement.
Firmly B’Elanna repeated, “We will adapt,” as she squeezed the
blonde’s shoulders reassuringly.
Seven nodded, and then moved closer to the half-Klingon,
silently requesting that B’Elanna hold her.
It was a request B’Elanna was only to happy to fulfill, as
feeling the blonde’s slim frame resting against her own was
definitely a pleasure. When they had first begun their physical
relationship Seven had held back a part of herself in these
hugs, it hadn’t even been something B’Elanna had noticed until
after Seven had asked her about Tom. It wasn’t any large
difference, but rather several small differences. Seven leaned
into her now, relaxing completely, and molded herself as closely
as she could against B’Elanna’s body. Their embraces had become
a statement of Seven’s trust in her that B’Elanna cherished.
After a minute Seven stirred, and B’Elanna loosened her hold.
Turning in the half-Klingon’s arms the blonde addressed Karen.
“When may I begin my training?”
“Ah,” the woman replied caught by surprise, “Well no time like
the present I guess, I can show you how to hold a newborn.”
There were a few minutes of discussion back and forth primarily
between Lee, Maria, Janice, Seven and Karen, before Seven
allowed that perhaps her clinical knowledge of an infants
physiology, did not in fact translate into a proper way to hold
an infant so their emotional needs for security and reassurance
were being met. Finally they had Seven’s arms and hands arranged
to their liking, and Heather was placed within them.
The blue eyes of the infant looked curiously at the being so
nervously holding her, and she promptly decided to wave her arms
and feet about. Seven immediately responded by holding the
infant more securely against her chest as she looked down at it
wide eyed, startled and momentarily concerned that she might
drop the child. Once Heather quieted, the two of them, infant
and woman, examined one another with intent curiosity.
B’Elanna stared at her lover, a curious sensation making itself
known in her chest. What would Seven look like pregnant with
their child, what would the child look like, and how would Seven
look holding their own child instead of another’s?
***************************************************
Chapter 22 - Stardate 52705.42 (September 15, 2375 11:34am)
“Contacts,” B’Elanna reported, into the communications
transmitter embedded in her helmet, as soon as she saw the two
signals show up on the readout screen imbedded in the forearm of
her coal black tactical suit.
Elizabeth immediately raised her hand in a halt gesture, and the
entire unit paused and dropped to their knees, those assigned as
scouts fanned out and took up forward positions their eyes
trained on the forest around them.
“Contact one, 326 meters, 10 o’clock, inclination 5 degrees.
Contact two, 345 meters, 1 o’clock, inclination 7 degrees.”
B’Elanna finished reporting. Looking toward the location of the
contacts she couldn’t see much of anything but the reddish grey
bark of the fifty meter tall coniferous trees that made up the
majority of the forest they were currently moving through.
“Scouts,” remarked Christina’s distinctive voice in B’Elanna’s
earpiece. She now knew enough about her fellow squad members to
know that Christina’s accent was Canadian, and was easily
distinguishable from the softer drawl of Elizabeth’s southern
American accent.
“Likely,” was Elizabeth’s reply, “Dampening field?” she asked.
B’Elanna had already been verifying it’s functioning, expecting
the question. “Operating at 100%, they don’t know we’re here.”
“Let’s keep it that way. B’Elanna, move up and join accompany
rifle squad one. Rifle squad one recon forward once she is in
position. All other rifle squads hold position.” Elizabeth
ordered.
B’Elanna jogged forward, and took up a position in the middle of
the squad, near the squad leader, Amy Lewis, Lee’s partner. As
soon as she was in place, Amy ordered the squad to move forward.
“Ok slow and easy, let’s move forward 50 meters before we go to
ground.”
B’Elanna resisted the urge to groan at the statement. Going to
ground meant just that, they would move one by one; go from
cover to cover, and creep and crawl if necessary, the rest of
the way. Just why their captor had given them black suits,
instead of more practical camouflage one’s, was anyone’s guess,
but it meant that they had to be extra cautious if they wanted
to spot the enemy first instead of the other way around. It was
both fortunate, and unfortunate for the unit, that the lack of
sunlight at the forest floor discouraged a lot of undergrowth.
It meant that there weren’t a lot of plants or bushes to crawl
through, and it meant that there wasn’t much to take cover
behind except for the tree trunks.
At least today was just another training mission, instead of a
real one, and the ‘enemy’ were actually robots, instead of some
unknown Delta quadrant species. But as Elizabeth liked to point
out you trained to prepare for the real thing, and if you left
your guard down in training because it was ‘only training,’ you
had no chance in hell to ever survive the real thing.
Watching her readout screen the half-Klingon frowned at the
information displayed, they had moved maybe 35 meters but the
contacts were now 280 meters and 297 meters away. “Contacts on
the move in our direction, now 279 meters, 10 o’clock,
inclination 3 degrees; and 297 meters, 1 o’clock, inclination 5
degrees.” She cursed herself for not noticing sooner as she
reported the information.
She wasn’t entirely sure just why but each time they trained
some type of information would be denied them. This time it was
knowledge of the terrain they were operating on. Her scanning
equipment which would normally give a very accurate
topographical readout, was currently reporting absolutely no
information about the surrounding land at all.
“Halt,” Amy immediately called out. As soon as everyone stopped
moving she came over to where B’Elanna crouched.
“They’ve been moving steadily lower ever since they showed up as
contacts.” The half-Klingon called up the data from 10 minutes
ago and ran it forward as Amy watched. “I think there is a large
hill of some type in that direction that they are coming down
from.”
“I think your right. Elizabeth did you hear B’Elanna’s report?”
Amy asked.
“Yes, hold at your current location and keep watch. Keep me
updated, we’re going to scout around here and see if we can find
a decent ambush spot.” Elizabeth replied.
‘If only there were some way I could manually enter in this data
as topographical points,’ thought B’Elanna staring at the
contacts in frustration. A glimmer of an idea came to her,
“Amy,” she paused after the name giving the equipment time to
set up a private communications channel to just the squad
leader, “Do I have time to enter in some data? I would need 10
minutes, I think I can make a basic plot point topographical map
of this area with the sensor data I have.”
“Yea,” came back the reply after a moment, “But be ready to pack
up and move in two minutes or less.”
B’Elanna didn’t waste time replying, she just unbuckled the pack
on her back and pulled out the piece of equipment she needed and
began working. Eight minutes later she was looking with
satisfaction at the basic topographical map of their surrounding
area, compiled from the data of their own movements and those of
their ‘enemy’. “Amy,” she waited for the necessary second, “It’s
done,” she reported.
She waited for the older blonde woman to look over what she had
done, and was not surprised when she was ordered to forward the
information to the other three communications specialists.
“Woo, good job hot stuff; you’ve got to tell me how you managed
that later.” B’Elanna grinned, as she recognized Sabrina
Gentry’s cocky voice. Gentry was another Electronics and
Communications Specialist. Originally from San Francisco, she
had cornered the half-Klingon as soon as she found out that
B’Elanna had been to the city, and asked her several questions
about how her home town had fared since 2013 when she had been
abducted.
“Congratulations, B’Elanna quick thinking,” Elizabeth praised
her privately. “You know this means you get to put together
another training session, right?” The next communication from
her was to the entire unit, “Rifle squad one fall back and
rejoin the main unit.”
B’Elanna chuckled to herself, and didn’t bother to reply. She
had been doing a lot of training sessions on a wide range of
subjects for the squad. Mostly the robots had allowed it except
for two classes dealing with some of the changes in technology
since 2000. B’Elanna couldn’t figure out whether or not their
captor thought it might help them escape, or was not useful for
them to know.
Seven had been doing much of the same thing for the hostages.
Only her discussions more often ranged around advances in
science and medicine, as an unusual number of the hostages were
from medical or public service professions. There were two other
doctors besides Nancy Miller, three certified nurse
practitioners, one nurse-midwife, six registered nurses, four
licensed practical nurses, three Emergency Medical Technicians,
and two firefighters.
It only took B’Elanna and rifle squad one a five minutes to
rejoin the unit. Elizabeth nodded to them as they came up. “Ok
heads up, ninety meters to the north east there is a hill with
quite a few rock formations, lots of cover. Christine and I have
come up with this plan of battle…”
***************************************************************
Chapter 23 – Stardate 52722.64 (September 21, 2375 6:23pm)
B’Elanna eyed Seven worriedly, she seemed very distracted
tonight…troubled might even be a more accurate description.
“Seven?” B’Elanna asked, wondering just what was going on.
“What’s bothering you?”
Seven started, and stared at the half-Klingon, as if surprised
that she was there. The blonde shook her head and replied, “I am
sorry B’Elanna.” Then the blonde went silent once again,
apparently not noticing that she hadn’t actually answered her
lover’s question. Instead she stared at the carpet, a deep frown
upon her face.
B’Elanna followed her gaze, but could see nothing objectionable
about the section of carpet the blonde was staring so fixedly
at.
Before the half-Klingon could ask what was bothering her once
again, Seven said, “You know that Lee and I have been talking
about different events, and my thoughts and feelings concerning
them.” Seven raised her gaze from the carpet, and met the brown
ones of the darker skinned woman.
“Yes?” replied B’Elanna confused, “Is something you talked about
bothering you? Did you… did you want to discuss it with me?” She
asked hopefully, though generally Seven was very open with her
about what she discussed with Lee, the half-Klingon was also
aware that there were things that Seven didn’t like to mention.
The blonde was still very skittish when it came to discussing
her time as a Borg, and the time immediately following her
severance from the Collective. There were also a several things
that Seven usually didn’t discuss because she had moved on; the
subject was finished, or so Seven thought. B’Elanna knew that
Lee had, and rightfully so in B’Elanna’s eyes, convinced Seven
that just because things didn’t seem of importance anymore, they
still could influence her daily behavior and feelings.
Seven began speaking, pulling back B’Elanna’s attention from her
thoughts, “Now that I understand my own actions and feelings
better, I would like to tell you about what Lee and I have
discussed, but...” her voice trailed off uncertainly.
“But?” B’Elanna asked, after the silence dragged out.
Seven looked at her searchingly once more, “I am not certain you
would understand, that I could explain everything correctly. And
that some of the things I wish to discuss might upset you,” her
eyes fell away at the last.
“Do you really want to talk with me about it?” asked B’Elanna,
suddenly uncertain as to whether or not she was pushing the
blonde.
“Yes,” Seven’s eyes rose to hers once again and her voice was
sure.
“Then I’ll listen, and I’ll ask questions if I don’t understand
something. And I don’t think that whatever it is will upset me,
especially since it’s bothering you so much. For some reason,
when something’s bothering you, I get more concerned about you
than about me and my feelings.” B’Elanna admitted with a
self-conscious smile, feeling somewhat shy about revealing that
piece of information.
Seven’s face softened, and she nodded slowly. The blonde
hesitated for a moment then requested, “Would you hold me?”
B’Elanna nodded immediately, both pleased that Seven wanted to
sit on her lap and cuddle, and worried about why the blonde felt
the need to right now. She moved closer to the end of the couch
so Seven could rest her back against it, and then cradled the
blonde as Seven sat on her thighs and curled up against her.
Seven closed her eyes and snuggled her face into the half-Klingon’s
neck, she inhaled the fragrance of her lover then kissed the
darker skin there once before opening her eyes once again. “Do
you remember the list Lee asked me to compile?” the blonde
asked, settling back against the couch so she could look into
the half-Klingon’s face.
B’Elanna thought back, “The one where you listed what you had
gained and lost from being separated from the Borg?” She hadn’t
looked at the list Seven had written down, but the blonde had
told her what she was doing, if not exactly why, and B’Elanna
could, and had, guessed at quite a few possibilities.
“Yes,” replied Seven, looking troubled, “The first day we spoke,
after you and the others left, Lee was able to detect that I
still felt anger and resentment over my separation from the
Collective. The list enabled me to clarify my thoughts, and
determine why I felt that way, and whether I wished to
continue.”
B’Elanna frowned, confused, “I thought you liked being an
individual?” she asked, her mind whirling with questions.
“I do, I am thankful that Captain Janeway insisted that I have
the chance to become an individual. That thankfulness, while
having a mitigating effect on the resentment I feel over being
severed from the Collective, does not entirely eliminate it.”
Seven explained, as she watched B’Elanna closely.
B’Elanna could clearly feel the blonde’s growing tenseness,
realized that this was one of the things Seven thought she might
get upset about. However, the half-Klingon understood what Seven
was saying perfectly. “Sort of like I’m glad to be alive, but I
still resent Janeway for going against my wishes, and letting
the Doctor use that Cardassian butcher Moset’s hologram and the
knowledge he gained from torturing Bajorians, to get that alien
that was leeched onto me, off.”
Seven’s eyes widened in understanding and relief, as she
realized that B’Elanna did understand what she was feeling. “I
am very pleased that you are still alive as well,” the blonde
informed her seriously, as she reached up and caressed the
caramel toned cheek of her lover.
B’Elanna responded to the statement by leaning down and kissing
the blonde gently, but pulled away before it became too
passionate. She had some questions she would like answered if
Seven was willing. She waited until Seven opened her eyes and
glanced up at her questioningly. Gently she asked, “So what does
the list have to do with the resentment you still feel?” Seven
immediately tensed up again. “Seven, I really want to understand
what’s bothering you.” Blue eyes met hers for a long moment,
judging her sincerity, and apparently trusting it.
“The list itself is not important; it merely helped me
understand why I still felt angry about being severed. It helped
me clarify what and how I felt at that time, and even thought I
was not capable of every human emotion, I was capable of feeling
anger and fear. During my first few months aboard Voyager I
became very familiar with those two emotions.” Seven confessed.
She stared at B’Elanna uncertainly; “I am not sure how to
explain to you…” the blonde trailed off.
Seven remained silent for a long moment then, apparently
deciding how to continue, straightened, and began once again. “I
was assimilated at the age of six, and placed in a maturation
chamber. Most of my internal implants developed during that
time, along with my human body. When I was mature, I was removed
from the chamber, my body armor, and my eyepiece were added. I
did not remember having a human body, my implants, my body
armor, were complete when I became a functional drone and
received my first designation.” Seven paused in her recitation,
looking searchingly into B’Elanna’s face.
B’Elanna was still trying to figure out exactly what Seven was
trying to tell her. Suddenly it dawned on her, “You didn’t see
your implants as being something the Borg added to you, they
were just a part of you, because you couldn’t remember ever
being any other way.” she blurted out.
Seven breathed a sigh of relief, “Yes, at that time I didn’t
remember being any other way.”
B’Elanna felt a moment of unease, wondering if the resentment
Seven had said she was still feeling, was due to the removal of
her implants. Before she could ask, Seven continued.
“When I was severed from the Collective my human body began to
reject my Borg implants. Nothing was done to reverse this
process when it first began. By the time I was awakened and
informed that I would be staying aboard Voyager, it was already
too late. When I expressed my wishes to rejoin the Borg, I was
informed that I would die without medical care, and my wishes to
be deactivated rather than become more human, were ignored.”
Seven’s voice shook slightly and B’Elanna could see she how
angered and distressed she was as she recalled the events.
B’Elanna didn’t know what to say, she was starting to get a
clear idea of Seven’s dilemma. She didn’t doubt that Seven
appreciated being an individual now, which meant that Janeway
had been right to insist that Seven stay with them, and become
human. But looking into Seven’s bitterly angry face, and hearing
that she had asked to be allowed to die… “I never knew that.”
B’Elanna admitted, more to say something to Seven than anything
else, while she tried to think. Seven glanced at her with a
surprised look, “Oh, we all knew you weren’t willing to stay,
but I never knew that you had told the Captain that you would
rather die than become one of us.” B’Elanna clarified in an
unhappy tone.
Once again B’Elanna’s thoughts drifted the Morset hologram, and
her own determination to die rather than have her life saved by
the use of research gained from torturing innocent Bajorians.
Once she had recovered, she was glad to be alive, but she had
still been angry about her continued life coming at the cost of
her beliefs. At the time the decision had been made she had been
unconscious, completely unable to defend herself against
something she did not want. As odd as it seemed, she had, and
still, felt violated in some way by the entire incident.
Looking down into Seven’s face she realized that the blonde had
withdrawn from her, the icy blue eyes were defensive, uncertain.
‘Because you didn’t say anything that let her know that you
understood why she would be angry,’ her inner voice growled at
her. “I think I understand, at least somewhat,” she offered.
Seven looked up at her questioningly from where she rested
against the couch arm, her eyes already less defensive.
“After I regained consciousness, and the Doctor told me that the
Captain had ordered that Morset’s research be used to save my
life, I felt…helpless, and so angry because…” she trailed off
trying to articulate something that she hadn’t really ever said
before, “Because she’s the Captain, and unless I wanted to leave
Voyager she had the authority to override anything I said if it
were for the good of the crew. Which is something I understand
and agree with to a certain extent, I just… really didn’t like
having my face shoved in it.”
She looked at Seven who was staring at her, frowning
thoughtfully. “I’m sorry, I guess it’s not really much like what
happened to you,” she babbled feeling suddenly uncertain.
“You are incorrect.” Seven interrupted abruptly. “I was angry in
part due to,” she smiled slightly in bitter amusement, “my face
being shoved in the fact that I was helpless to alter what was
happening to me. But I was denied even the option of leaving
Voyager; I was a prisoner, not a willing crewmember.”
B’Elanna winced visibly at the reminder, and the tone of Seven’s
voice.
Realizing that B’Elanna had taken her remark personally, though
thankfully the robot had not, Seven let out an anguished sound,
lurching upward, she buried her face into B’Elanna’s neck. “I am
sorry, I am not angry with you, I should not have…snapped.”
B’Elanna had wrapped her arms about Seven as soon as she moved,
“It’s alright,” she said as soon as Seven paused, hiding a smile
at the term Seven had used; undoubtedly the blonde had picked it
up from the other hostages. The half-Klingon placed gentle
kisses on blonde hair, and unconsciously rocked slowly back and
forth in an attempt to sooth the woman in her arms.
Seven was silent then incongruously she remarked, “This is
soothing, I was unaware that this technique worked on adults as
well as infants.”
“Huh?” remarked B’Elanna, a half-second before she realized what
she was doing, and connected it to Seven’s ongoing training in
how to care for infants and children. “Umm,” she stilled, and
felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment. Seven pulled back
slightly, and stared at her inquiringly. B’Elanna let out a
breathy sight, “I didn’t realize I was doing that, until you
mentioned it.”
Seven looked at her curiously for a moment longer then nodded.
Her eyes dropped away from dark ones, “Perhaps we should not
continue this discussion.” she said quietly.
“No,” B’Elanna exclaimed. “At least not because you think that I
was hurt by what you said, I wasn’t. Seven you have a right to
be angry, just like I had the right to be angry over Janeway
overriding my decision.” They stared at one another, B’Elanna
trying to convey her acceptance of Seven’s emotions.
Finally Seven nodded, her eyes bright with emotion. She took in
a breath, composing herself before continuing, “When I was
wakened the second time, several of my implants, my body armor,
and part of my eyepiece had already been removed. The amount of
nanoprobes in my blood had been greatly decreased. I again asked
to be deactivated, and was again refused. Captain Janeway, then
asked me to assist with the removal of the Borg modifications,
when I refused, she informed me that I had to comply.” Seven
finished speaking calmly, but her eyes showed her anger.
B’Elanna remembered that day, she had been fruitlessly trying to
remove the Borg modifications for hours, before Captain Janeway
and Seven had walked into engineering. Seven had immediately
gotten on her bad side as soon as she opened her mouth and
informed her that she had neglected to remove the autonomous
regeneration sequencers. Now though, the blonde’s attitude on
that day made a lot more sense. “I guess she wasn’t exactly
telling the truth, when she told me you had agreed to help out
then.” B’Elanna asked quietly.
“No I did not, I agreed because it was made clear to me that I
had no other choice.” Seven answered, her tone was both terse
and sad.
Seven was silent for a long moment after the statement, then she
swallowed uneasily and tensed up. Suddenly, her gaze which had
been wandering about the room, snapped to B’Elannas', and the
half-Klingon was surprised to see the guilt clearly revealed
there. “When I saw the communications node…” Seven trailed off.
Looking pleadingly at B’Elanna she finished, “It was a chance to
escape, to stop what was being done to me. I regret those
actions now; I almost caused the assimilation of Voyager, of
you.”
B’Elanna pulled Seven against her chest and hugged her tightly,
“It’s alright, I’m not angry at you anymore for doing that.” The
half-Klingon hesitated for a moment then finally asked, “You
were terrified of what we were doing to you, weren’t you.”
“Yes,” admitted Seven, her face pressed tightly into the
juncture of B’Elanna’s neck and shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” B’Elanna whispered. She felt Seven look upward.
“That you were so afraid,” she clarified. “I’m not sorry at all
that you’re here instead of being a Borg drone, but I’m sorry
you went through all that. I felt angry and violated from my
wishes being ignored. I can’t imagine how much more violated you
felt by us. We cut away parts of your own body.” B’Elanna
hesitated, uncertain whether or not she had correctly understood
what Seven had been trying to tell her, “I’m right aren’t I? To
you, we were actually disfiguring you by removing your implants,
violating your body.”
“Yes,” agreed Seven simply.
“I’m surprised you didn’t try to escape again,” B’Elanna
admitted after a moment of silence, trying to put herself in
Seven’s position.
“We were far from Borg space, my choices were to deactivate
myself or adapt.” Seven answered, “I choose to adapt.” Seven’s
voice was completely flat as she made the statement.
B’Elanna recoiled at the statement, shaken by the implication
that Seven had considered killing herself at one point. Not
wanting to pursue that subject any further right now, she
changed topics and asked, “When did you decide that you wanted
to be an individual, instead of a Borg,” she asked.
Seven was silent; finally she said in a quiet, reflective voice,
“After we found my parent’s ship, I began to consider what my
life would have been like if I had not been assimilated. I
believe I began having doubts about returning to the Borg at
that time, but I did not fully accept that I did not want to
return until we were approaching Borg space on Arturis’s ship.”
B’Elanna clearly remembered the incident; they had been tricked
by Arturis into finding what they thought was a Federation ship,
the Dauntless, sent to rescue them. But his true intentions were
to deliver them to the Borg in retaliation for his species
having been assimilated because the Borg hadn’t been destroyed
by Species 8472. “That was almost a year after we separated you
from the Borg.” she commented.
“Ten months, twenty-one days,” replied Seven, still with a
reflective tone.
They went silent, lost in their separate thoughts. Finally
B’Elanna snorted softly with gentle amusement, “So you’ve been
angry at us this entire time? I don’t want to insult you Seven,
but that’s very human of you.”
Seven was silent, and B’Elanna was beginning to wonder if she
had made a mistake in joking, no matter how well meant, when
Seven finally replied in a disgruntled tone, “Lee pointed that
out as well.”
B’Elanna bit back the joking comment she wanted to make, it just
didn’t seem like the right time for it, and searched for a way
to switch topics to something safer. “You mentioned that you
were considering whether or not to continue? Did you mean
continue being angry?”
“Yes, it does not seem efficient of me to continue resenting
Captain Janeway, or anyone else for what they did in separating
me from the Borg, when I am currently pleased with the results
of their actions. Lee has correctly pointed out, that as there
is no one here whom I blame for those actions, that I am only
punishing myself. I do not wish to engage in such illogical
behavior, therefore I am determined to ‘forgive’ what was done
to me and ‘let go of my anger’.” Seven stated, her voice
decidedly more brisk and positive than it had been.
“Is that Lee, or you talking?” asked B’Elanna, bemused at the
phrases coming out of the blonde’s mouth.
“Those are Lee’s statements, but I am…tired of feeling this
anger. It serves no purpose. I do not wish to experience it
anymore. Therefore I will try and do what she has suggested to
stop.” Seven answered resolutely.
B’Elanna’s thoughts immediately flew to her own long held anger
at her mother and father, “I hope you do Seven, I hope you do.”
Both of them were silent for a long moment, then B’Elanna said,
“Thank you for telling me. I saw that you weren’t happy that we
separated you from the Borg, but I never understood why, or what
it was like for you. I don’t know that I would have understood
before the alien and the Morset hologram, but I think I
understand now, or at least I understand better.”
Seven looked relieved and tired as she rested her head in the
hollow of B’Elanna’s shoulder. “I am glad. It was not as
difficult to explain to you as I had thought it would be.”
“Another mole-hill,” commented B’Elanna gently, as she tightened
her arms around Seven, remembering the conversation about Tom
almost a month ago as she held the blonde.
Seven yawned against her neck, “Yes, another mole-hill, I was
certain that it would be a mountain, I am pleased that I was
incorrect.”
“See, I’m not such a scary grouch anymore,” chided B’Elanna,
with a touch of true indignation.
Seven lifted her head at the words and she stared at the
half-Klingon thoughtfully, “No you are not, I should quit
anticipating your present reactions based upon our interactions
before we were captured. I apologize.”
“Accepted,” said B’Elanna surprised. “Are you okay now?”
“I am. Lee was correct; talking to you does make me feel better.
In fact...” A mischievous glint formed in Seven’s blue eyes,
“Since I just made a mistake that required me to apologize to
you, does this mean we can ‘make up’ now?”
“Make up? Where did you hear that?” asked B’Elanna.
“Nancy,” replied Seven succinctly. “She requires Christina to
make up to her frequently.”
“Umm,” B’Elanna replied, suddenly not too sure whether or not
she wanted to know just what Seven had heard about ‘making up’.
Watching the pout form on the blonde’s face she couldn’t help
but begin chuckling. “Sure if you want to we can make up, but
whose making up to whom here?”
Seven slid off her lap before B’Elanna could react and was
leaning over the half-Klingon, one hand on either side of her
head. “I wish to make up to you,” she purred.
B’Elanna stared wide eyed.
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